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If you have the Mother's Day Blues

Updated: May 12

I want to be Happy on Mother's Day, and I've been blessed with a thoughtful husband and son who think of me on this holiday. We don't typically do anything grandiose to mark it because I'm a simple girl, but we always spend time together and acknowledge it, and they spoil me with a few beautiful gifts.

The day brings up an array of emotions because my mother and I are estranged, and I can't help but think of her on these Sundays and, if I'm being honest, on most days of the year. The strange thing is that children are usually the ones who choose to walk away. In my case, my mom is the one who does not call or acknowledge my existence. I've tried to bring down the wall that separated for years without much success. I've been honest and open, shared, forgiven, and looked the other way, but I continue walking down a one-way street alone.

In recent years, as my son grows, I have witnessed her inside me, and I've come to the realizations that maybe her anger and abandonment comes from fear. I've also realized she's had to live in a world by herself for most of her life and how strong she is from doing it as a woman and with two children. It's scary. It's terrifying to feel isolated, as if no one in this world gives a damn and your survival depends on you and only you.

I've been there and seen myself spiral into what may be her thoughts. The difference is that I do it more alone than in the company of my child. And I never reject him when I'm rejecting myself.

I can't imagine what happens in her head, and often, I want to reach out and tell her, "I see you." But to do that, I need to build up resilience to take what negative, hurtful things she says to me and know without a doubt I can wash them away. I'm strong, but it's easier to crumble when it comes to her.

When I examine my issues with Mother's Day, my empathetic nature comes out, and I know that if I feel this way, others must, too.

Others know what it's like not to have a mom. There are those whose mothers have passed, there are moms whose children have passed, there are women who want to have a child and can't, and women who don't want children that are still nurturers. There are infinite examples of pain associated with others' happiness.

I know the only way to turn that around is through love and attention, so I acknowledge your suffering and send you light and hugs. To those who feel joy, don't stop…keep spreading that to those of us who need to feel it, too.

Today, I celebrate and honor the nurturer because that's what mothering is all about. Whether you nurture a child, a pet, your friends, or your art…Happy Day of Nurturing!

As a child, my mom often went into the dark, but she was also full of light.

The best advice she ever gave me was, "Do at least one thing a day you love to do."

So, let's do that!

Do something that makes you feel good today. Whether surrounded by family or by yourself. Give a little self-love.

Now, I'm walking with my boys to feel the sunshine on my face and then playing board games!



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